Falling Off the Wagon

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PSA for the day: HEY! Get active in your local government! VOTE SUCKAS!!

Let’s be honest, we’ve all done it.  We’ve ALL cheated at some point when it comes to food.  Some times turn out to be more epic fails than others, but nevertheless, slips/choices/occasions/poor judgement/saying screw it HAPPENS…..and when it happens, you find yourself in your own version of guilt-ridden hell.  For me, that included eating potato oles from a Taco John’s connected to a gas station in Mason City, Iowa, wearing my sunglasses indoors and just generally hating my life.  So let’s recap where things went awry on my mini-vacay, and most importantly, how I’m getting back ON the wagon!

Planning ahead was what saved me on the first half of this adventure.  Knowing I had a 6 hour trip ahead of me, I stocked up on quick and easy things to take in the cooler in the car.  I packed some deli meat, some plantain chips, and some grassfed beef sticks.  I also, thinking I was being smart by doing so, packed some hard cider.  The thing is, I knew I was going to want to drink, and I knew I was going to want something “beer” ish instead of wine or cocktails, so I planned for a gluten-free option.  ALL WAS WELL!  My folks were totally cool with scoping out a place for our dinner stop that would have options for me.  Have I mentioned that they are awesome?  Well they are.  I got myself a salad with plenty of meat and fresh veggies.  Managed to keep it totally paleo on evening 1 of the trip.  Kudos to me!

Day 2 was AMAZING!  I watched my cousin Jamie graduate and got to enjoy the many festivities that went with that!  Food wise, I was a mess from the minute the day started.  The ONLY breakfast options even remotely OK for me to eat at the hotel were these egg omelet things that had cheese in them. I made them work.  Lunch ended up being super late, and eaten at a Chipotle….so that got me a bit closer to my paleo love.  Loaded up on meat and veggies and guac!  Then I proceeded to begin my descent into stupidity.  I started drinking cider.  Dumb, dumb, dumb.  However, they were SUPER delicious!  Soooo delicious in fact, I chose to drink the ENTIRE sampler pack. Again, I’m an idiot.

crispin sampler

Yeah, those are each 22 oz. bottles.  I’m stupid sometimes.

Needless to say, the shit storm just continued from there.  Ate very little dinner because it was catered in Italian and I knew I didn’t want to touch pasta or it would be a disaster.  Little did I know, I was headed for disaster anyway!

So the cousins, the brother, and I decided to go out and enjoy some nightlife.  We were all very responsible and got a ride both ways.  Ain’t nobody got time for drunk driving.  NOT OK!  We ended up at a piano bar, had a GREAT time, and just had a fantastically silly evening.  It’s honestly been way too long since we’ve done that!  Although, I did realize I can no longer hang with 22 year olds.  It hurts too much.  I’ve moved well beyond that point in my life.

Fast forward to the next morning, and I was SICK!  I mean, super sick.  The revisiting your meals, sleeping on the bathroom floor, praying to God and swearing that you will never drink again, SICK! Needless to say, I was a disaster.  But again, since my Mom is awesome, she just kept saying, “I’ll come back in an hour and see if you are good to go yet!”  Oh yeah, this was also Mother’s Day, so I’m a complete A-Hole.  At some point, I asked my brother if he could perform an exorcism.  No luck there. So I loaded my sorry ass in the car, took some meds, drank a CRAP ton of water, and passed out in the back of the car……4 hours after our original departure time. About an hour later we pull into the aforementioned Taco John’s, my brother alerts me to the fact that I look like “a hot mess” and I proceed to smash on potato oles and a Diet Dr. Pepper.  Fixed my hangover RIGHT UP! But contributed to the continued feeling of grossness in my belly.

So, after all of this ridiculous rambling about my own stupidity, it has to be said that I at least know that I can ALWAYS come back to the paleo way.  Since I’ve gotten home, I’ve eaten as cleanly as possible. Loading up on lots of quality proteins and veggies in order to set my body straight.  Here are just a few delicious things I’ve made:

grill night

Little brother grilled the SHIT out of some steaks, asparagus, and zucchini! So good!

broiled salmon

Broiled salmon over a salad….eaten outside! Mostly because it’s too freaking hot in my house to eat inside…

So see!  Falls happen.  Hardcore.  It’s never too late and you are never too far gone to get back after it.  You are worth it, and your guts will be happy when you do! Peace, Love, and Paleo!

-Meister

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2 thoughts on “Falling Off the Wagon

  1. I feel slightly responsible for this… I’m sorry!!!! I hope you had a good trip anyways! Thanks for being here for my big day!! 🙂

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