Rosemary and Sage Pork Tenderloin with Roasted Red Pepper Spaghetti Squash

Aren’t you impressed by the title ALONE on this!?!?  Especially coming from the gal who has shown no other talents than insanely delicious baked goods?  Seriously, cooking is my passion…and this happened.

For SERIOUS, it turned out so so SO good!!!  I should back up a bit and note that we are apparently going to be hit by some sort of insane Snowmaggeddon or Snowpocalypse or some equally terrifying word that includes the word snow, and it’s coming sometime around Thursday.  So, naturally, like any prepared single gal, I planned out some meals, went to the store, and stocked up…..on wine.  And some random veggies.  I’m totally set!  I also decided to start cooking like a fiend, because there is nothing I hate more than having to tackle my driveway (usually by shovel because my stupid snowblower refuses to work on any sort of regular basis) then come in and cook.  If I don’t have some sort of already prepared meals on snowdays, I end up living off of tortilla chips and salsa, raw pecans, and whatever protein I can scrounge up…usually some stray slices of bacon I find in a baggie in the bottom of my freezer.  Oh and coffee, lots and LOTS of coffee.  So I went ahead and got all productive!

As a side note, this recipe looks really complex.  It’s NOT.  I promise….it’s mostly just playing with getting the timing right.  Also, this meal is seriously date worthy.  It is freaking delicious and totally impressive.  Cook it up!  Enjoy it with your spouse, your partner, your significant other, or with yourself…..standing over the island in your kitchen, glass of wine in hand, singing really loudly along to this song.  I mean, it’s just a suggestion, I’ve never EVER done that…

Step 1: Marinate your Pork Tenderloin

  • 1 pork tenderloin (average size….not gonna lie, I got it from my mom, and she bought in bulk, so I have no idea how much it weighed…)
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 teaspoon onion powder
  • 1 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1 teaspoon ground sage
  • 2 sprigs of fresh rosemary (remove the leaves from the stem, don’t worry about chopping them up, you will remove the bulk of them from the pork prior to cooking)
  1. Place all ingredients in a plastic bag and smush everything around.  Get it all good and coated.
  2. Let sit in the bag (I’d put it on a plate/shallow dish in case it leaks) in the refrigerator for at least 1 hour, the longer the better!

Step 2: Roasting your veggies

  • 1 large or 2 small spaghetti squash (cut lengthwise, seeds and inner strings removed)
  • 2 large red peppers (seeds removed and cut into large chunks)
  • 6-8 cloves of garlic (peeled)
  1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
  2. Place squash cut side down onto a baking sheet. Put into oven for 30-40 minutes, or until you push on the skin and it gives a little.
  3. Place red peppers and garlic cloves on another baking sheet.  Drizzle with a bit of olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper.  Mix them all up with your hands, get good and dirty!  Place in oven for 20-30 minutes or until they start to brown a bit on the bottoms.
  4. Did you notice that you can have both of these bad boys going at once?!?!  It gets better, just wait!
  5. Set the peppers aside for Step 4.
  6. When the spaghetti squash has cooled, grab a fork and get to forking.  No really, scrape at the insides with a fork and it should pull away from the skin in shreds that resemble spaghetti.  Be prepared to see those shreds flinging all over the place…and find them in random spots all over your counter.

Step 3: Cooking the pork!

  1. After marinating, remove pork from the bag.  At this point, you will want to remove as much of the rosemary as possible.  No one really likes biting down into an entire bit of rosemary….It gets kind of gross with your hands, but get after it!
  2. Place tenderloin into a shallow baking dish.
  3. Put into your 400 degree oven (right alongside your veggies if you have space and you want to!).
  4. Cook for 30-40 minutes, or until you hit 170 degrees using a meat thermometer (it depends on the thickness of your pork….hehe, gross.) Mine took about 35 minutes.
  5. LET IT REST WHEN YOU TAKE IT OUT!!!! For at least 10 minutes, otherwise you will cut into it and it will look like you have committed murder and your poor sad pork is the victim.  You WANT it to keep all of its juices, so be patient!!

Step 4: Making your Red Pepper sauce

  • Roasted peppers and garlic you made earlier
  • 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
  • 1 teaspoon onion powder
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 1 cup of liquid (chicken stock, water, wine…if that’s your thing, coconut water, etc.)
  • 1, 6 oz. can of tomato paste
  1. Place your peppers and garlic into a food processor. (I suppose you could also use a blender…) Pulse until smoothly blended.
  2. Add in spices and tomato paste, pulse to combine.
  3. Add in liquid and blend until the sauce is the consistency you desire.  I ended up putting in about a cup, and I used coconut water because I like the richness and touch of sweetness it added to the sauce. But live your life, do what you want!
  4. Transfer to a saucepan on medium/low heat and simmer for 15-20 minutes until it is warm and the flavors have had a chance to play!  Stir it once in a while, and you might want to put a lid over it (NOT tightly) just in case it gets to bubbling all crazy. Sauce splatter on my stove really REALLY irks me.

Step 5: Assembling your masterpiece

  1. Layer squash, then some sauce, then some sliced pork, then more sauce. Salt and Pepper to taste.
  2. Make it look pretty, if you are into that.
  3. Or just toss it all in a bowl and stir it up.
  4. SMASH and enjoy.  Seriously, I had to hide my leftovers so I didn’t eat ALL of it!

Don’t let the number of steps on this intimidate you.  You CAN do it, it’s actually really easy……just a lot of oven action.  Enjoy! Sending some Paleo food love that’s not in baked good form!

-Meister

 

 

Raising Money and Slingin’ Goods

SO MUCH AWESOME happened yesterday! My gym hosted a fundraiser for the families of the victims of Sandy Hook Elementary School, and I was extremely honored to be a part of it!  It was also the launch of my PaleoMeister line!!!  EEEEK!  So, I arrived very early in the morning to start slinging Paleo treats.  By the end of the day, I had sold ALL but 10 items, drank entirely too much coffee, watched some amazing folks participate in a throwdown workout, and spread my Paleo treat love to the masses 🙂  Oh, and we just happened to raise about $2,000 for an excellent cause.  No idea is ever too out there or too crazy…..in the words of Dr. Frank-N-Furter (Rocky Horror reference FTW!) “Don’t dream it, BE IT!”  Saturday morning was an idea put into reality.  Here are a couple of pics of me doing my thing:

sales

Me, getting real with my set up.  Come at me, and buy some treats!! Boom.

girls

How cute are these gals?!?  I mean seriously!!  And look how excited they are to be enjoying my treats!  Eating Paleo makes you (and your belly) happy.  It’s a fact.

noah Hanging with the best salesman in all the land, baby Noah!  Fairly certain his charm and general cute factor increased sales.

See!  I told you it was crazy exciting!  I ended up selling Chocolate Chunk Cookies, “Oreo” balls, and Maple Bacon Blondies…..which I’m gonna gift to you right now!  A word of warning, these are technically Paleo, but very much a treat…..and they are absolutely FREAKING out of this world amazing!!!!

blondies

Maple Bacon Blondies

These are a 3 step process: candying the bacon, baking the brownie, and smothering it in chocolate and candied bacon.

Step 1:  Candy your bacon

  • 1 lb. of thick cut uncured bacon
  • 1 tablespoon Grade B Maple Syrup

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.  Cover a baking sheet with foil, and place a drying rack on top of the baking sheet.  Arrange the bacon slices on the drying rack and with a pastry brush, brush the bacon with maple syrup.  Bake for 30-40 minutes (this depends on the thickness of the bacon).  Start checking the bacon at about 25 minutes into baking.  Continue to check every 5 minutes until bacon is very crisp. Allow bacon to cool completely before chopping into small pieces.

Step 2: Making the Brownies

  • 1 cup coconut oil (melted)
  • 3/4 cup Grade B Maple Syrup
  • 1/4 cup Coconut Palm Sugar
  • 2 and 1/2 cups Almond Flour
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 package Enjoy Life mini chips
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Brush a 9 x 13 METAL baking pan with some melted coconut oil.  You MUST use a metal pan for these….if you use glass, they will get destroyed when trying to get them out of the pan.  Sad day.
  3. In a large bowl, add melted coconut oil and coconut palm sugar.  Using a hand mixer, begin to blend together.
  4. Add in the maple syrup and continue mixing together until the ingredients come together.  It may take a couple of minutes to get the oil to incorporate fully with the syrup.
  5. Next, add in your eggs, vanilla, and salt.  Continue to blend until the eggs are totally mixed in.
  6. Slowly add in the almond flour and baking soda, mixing it in well until the batter is smooth.  It will still be a bit soupy, and that’s ok!
  7. Stir in your chocolate chips (set aside 1/4 cup of the chocolate chips to melt down for the topping later).
  8. Pour batter into pan and bake for 30-40 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.  They will brown up.
  9. Allow to cool completely.

Step 3: Assembling your masterpiece

  1. When brownies have cooled completely you can begin this process, DON’T rush this!  It won’t all set up right if you start this while the brownies are still warm!
  2. In a small bowl, combine 1/4 cup of chocolate chips you set aside earlier with 1 teaspoon of coconut oil.  Microwave it in 30 second increments, stirring between each zapping session until chocolate is melted.
  3. Pour melted chocolate over the pan of brownies and spread into a thin layer covering the full pan.
  4. Sprinkle your chopped up candied bacon over the pan of brownies.  Be generous with this, you know you want to.
  5. Place the pan of brownies in the freezer for at least 15 minutes.
  6. When they are fully set and you are ready to cut them, run a sharp knife under very hot water before cutting….it will help you cut through the chocolate and not break it up!
  7. Remove them from the pan using a spatula.  They can be finnicky to get out, and just accept the fact that they first one out of the pan might get destroyed.  It happens, no big deal.
  8. These are super rich, so I would suggest cutting them into smaller brownies.  You could get 18-24 out of the pan.  If you are living large, cut it into 12 brownies and live it up!
  9. STUFF YOUR FACE WITH GOODNESS!

Hope you love these!  They made people VERY happy at the event on Saturday! Sending Paleo blondie love.

-Meister

Little Black Dress….AKA the Basic Chocolate Chunk Cookie

treats

As I was prepping all of the goodies for the giant Sandy Hook “Battle of the Sexes” fundraiser at the gym tomorrow I was thinking to myself, what should be the FIRST legit post?  I mean, this is a pretty big decision.  It’s a giant commitment!  It’s the first thing anyone who picks up a business card at the event, or sharks my Facebook, or Googles the name will see.  Gee, no pressure, right?!?  I had originally thought I would post the recipe for my Oreo Balls.  I had made promises to people that that particular recipe would be the launch recipe….and I SWEAR to you, it’s coming.  That being said, I’m not quite ready to part with that one yet…..they are kind of my pet project, my babies (that phrase just conjured a really bizarre mental image….and I’m sorry for that).

So then I got to thinking, what better to start with than a staple? Something for your arsenal.  Yeah, that’s the ticket!  Everyone has a chocolate chip cookie recipe.  EVERYONE!  Chances are, they are your grandma’s recipe from way back in the day…which most likely came from the back of a package of chocolate chips at some point along the line.  So what makes mine awesome? What makes mine so special?  Well, have you ever had a gluten-free chocolate chip cookie?  The majority of them that I’ve experienced are either rock hard or SUPER crumbly.  They are lacking that chewy mouth feel (eeeww….) that fresh baked cookies are supposed to have!

Naturally, I got to thinking….if GF chocolate chip cookies generally suck, there is NO WAY a Paleo version is going to suck any less, in fact, it’s probably going to suck a LOT more.  HOLY CRAP, I was wrong!!!  Which is very, VERY rare.  So these things should really be titled, “The best freaking chewy delicious Chocolate Chunk cookie you’ve ever had, you’ll never believe it’s Paleo!”….but that’s a bit of a mouthful.  So here it is!  Enjoy.

As a random sidenote, I’m really not that into sweets and desserts.  They generally make me feel kind of icky…..I would choose salt and crunch over sweets ANY day.  But the masses LOVE sweets! I like to make people happy, and most people respond much better to me gifting them treats of some sort than epic guacamole or side dishes. 🙂

 

Chocolate Chunk Cookies

  • 5 cups almond flour
  • 1 teaspoon sea salt
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 cup coconut oil (melted)
  • 2 tablespoons vanilla extract
  • 1 cup raw honey (warmed up so it pours/mixes easier)
  • 1 package Enjoy Life chocolate chunks (10 oz.)
  1. Combine dry ingredients (almond flour, salt, baking soda) in a large bowl.
  2. In a smaller bowl, stir together the wet ingredients (coconut oil, vanilla, honey).
  3. Mix the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients.  Get some elbow grease going!
  4. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes. (This step can be skipped, but it is MUCH easier to form the dough if it stiffens up some)
  5. While dough is setting, preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  6. Roll dough into walnut size balls and flatten onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper, placing them a couple of inches apart.  Do not flatten to less than 1/2 inch thick.
  7. Bake for about 10 minutes. (Depending on your oven/cookie sheets I would start with 8 minutes on the first batch and play with it from there. You want them to brown a little bit.)
  8. LET THEM COOL! Seriously, do it.  Let them cool…..otherwise you will burn your mouth and they will fall apart because they need a chance to REset.  I promise you, they will not get hard and crumbly if you let them sit….they stay chewy.
  9. Devour.  Try not to eat them all in one sitting….unless it’s one of those days, in which case, live your life!  I’m not gonna judge.

**This dough can be made a day or so in advance and can hang out in the fridge until you are ready to bake.  It is also REALLY awesome if eating cookie dough is your style since there are no raw eggs in the dough!  This recipe should make about 3 dozen cookies….but I’m never too sure, because I always end up eating some of the dough before it’s baked.  It’s pretty much a guessing game as to how many cookies actually come out of the oven!**

Every gal needs an amazing little black dress and a kick ass chocolate chip cookie recipe!  For real, consider this one yours!

-Meister

And so it begins!

If you are fortunate enough to have stumbled upon this page, my most sincere apologies!  As you can tell, it is NO where close to being ready for the general public.  Trust and believe, I’m working on creating something epic for you!  (Ok, maybe not epic, maybe downright boring…but it’ll be my best shot!)

Things to look forward to:

-Delicious Paleo recipes hatched from my somewhat crazy brain

-Mildly entertaining banter about my terribly mundane life

-Rambling, lots of rambling, and overuse of the ellipse…

I’ve totally got you wanting more, right?!?  Check back soon and hopefully this will be in a slightly lesser state of disarray.  Until then, go live your life!

-Meister